Drunk as a Skunk

I think it’s time to truly open our minds. For too long we have continued down the same path and it’s time for a change. No longer are the days where the choice for a household companion will only be cat, dog, or hamster. It is time that we open our homes to skunks.

I know what you’re thinking. You’ve always wanted a skunk, but what would your friends think? I’m here to tell you that having a pet skunk is more practical than you think. First. let’s explore the real difference between a skunk and a cat. In my eyes, absolutely nothing. Other than their genetics and the majority of their behaviors, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference if some furry critter quickly brushed your leg. A skunk won’t listen to your commands. A skunk won’t do any special tricks. And a skunk certainly won’t play nice with others. Sure as hell sounds like a cat to me.

Second, we should consider your concerns about rabies. According to my expert google search skills learned in college, all animals technically have the same probability of having rabies because they must be first bitten by an animal that has rabies. So your cat and cute dog, Bailey, have the exact same chance of contracting rabies and turning your Sunday into a rather eventful one, than your pet skunk.

I guess lastly we should talk about that insignificant problem with their smell. You probably have never noticed it before, but apparently sometimes skunks are known to spray any area with a certain gas that smells slightly unpleasant. Who really listens to these crazy rumors though? Someone also told me Morgan Freeman was dead. Anyways, apparently as a defense mechanism, when a skunk is frightened it sprays a gas with a strong odor to scare away any incoming predators. Rumor has it, it can smell pretty bad. People also tell me they hate the small of gasoline, but I cant get enough. And maybe, just maybe, we only hate the smell because of the social stigma surrounding the smell. Deep, I know.

Skunks aren’t so bad. If it wasn’t for Pepe Le Pew, i’d probably still be a virgin. That noise coming from your trash, well it’s either a raccoon or a skunk. On the off chance, it’s a skunk, bring him into your home. Give hime a meal. Treat him as if he were clean and could actually play catch. And whatever you do, DO NOT SCARE HIM.